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Subject:yay
Time:11:50 pm
So after being apart for the better part of 6 weeks me and jill are back together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy man...
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Subject:mitch
Time:01:11 am
you know what today i have done some long thinking... women hate me... i dont know why they like torturing me... by the way this is not aimed at anyone in particular... but they torture me for some aparant reason... Why me? why? what did i ever do... 

most women i know always complain to me that most men are assholes and deserve some sort of intense torture... but yet truly they torture the nice guys... you know the ones like me who partically worship the ground women walk on... who still believe in treating women the way they should be treated... and who would drop everything to give women what they deserve... how do you say they torture nice guys... well its simple...

first off they always complain about the assholes... yes we nice men realize there are jerks out there... we however are not even close to being one of them... 
second off women ALWAYS (99% of the time) end up going out with the assholes over the nice guys... how do i know this one you might ask? because i am the nice guy that women always screw over...
thirdly us nice guys like me know for a fact that despite what we are told will NEVER get the girl that we want... if we do end up marrying someone its because most likely its "financially the best thing to do" because we are our forties and realize we are losers... so we end up proposing to the next girlfriend we have (if we ever have another one) just for the sake of getting married so our mothers are always happy... 

why do women hate me so much? why do they play with me like a toy? should i just become an asshole so at least i could stand a chance? oh wait even if i do become an asshole i have so many other things that would ride against me i would be just a hair above the nice guys on the girls priority list... this is because 1) i am fatter than a thanksgiving turkey 2) i am real ugly 3) i have no money 4) i am a bio geek 5) my name is mitch 6) and i have recently realized that i am truly undateable...

why couldnt i have been born with good looks and into a normal family so i could have done normal things like be the star quarterback with the cheerleader gf and a full ride scholarship to an ivy league school? instead i am a complete and utter undateable loser...

i dont know what i can do anymore...
mitch
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Time:02:53 pm
after possibly having the worst week ever... and the worst month ever... all i wanna do is cry... but i cant... i just cant take some of these things anymore...
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Time:11:58 pm
i am over her and i am ready to move on... thats it...
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Subject:the beginning of the end...
Time:12:59 pm
This week is one that i would not want to relive ever again. this is for several reasons. One being jill broke up with me. and the second is a combo platter of other things. Lets start with the combo platter...

Things just arent going my way at all... my Grandpa on my dads side was sick this week. He has MS so anytime he gets a cold or anything it could be fatal... my dad told me it was "the beginning of the end" so i was so inspired by this comment to title it for my entry today. although this is not the only reason i have titled it that way. Lets see what else is wrong in the combo platter... last night they added on an extra set of rounds... and one set was really really really really really really long...i was up until 2 when i wanted to sleep early. there are other things that have been going on too that i dont wnna discuss on here....

so on to the jill situation. I miss her. I cant begin to describe how much i miss her. It feels like i have a huge gap in me now that i cannot replace. Like there is a chunk out of me emotionally that wont come back ever. not only that but if this is serious and we are not going to go out ever again i feel as though its going to make me be even more paranoid that my gf at the time will break up with me randomly. I dont know if i can handle that. I dont want my future relationships to suffer because of this... but moving on i dont think i want another gf ever again. and the reason why is that they wont even come close to comparing to jill... i know that may sound obsessive but i mean what i felt with her was pure love. there was no other reasons we were together other than pure love. This is the type of oppurtunity that comes along once in your life and you have the choice to keep it or throw it away. i honestly think that i am now destined for a life of sucky relationships. i dont want that. I dont want to be with someone for the sake of being with someone. i have done that before (not with jill though) and i can tell you that it is the worst thing ever. I am a firm believer in soulmates. and i feel as though mine just passed me by casually. I mean i have cried every single night this week because of her. I dont cry alot but it means something when i cry and because of what she did i have done it every day since sunday... even as i am writing this i am starting to cry. god i miss her so much. i long for the days when we were together and i would her in my arms and kiss her lips. those are the days when nothing in my life bothered me. when i could call her and she would calm me down instantly. yeah people may have said that we were crazy for being so in love but to me that is how a relationship is supposed to be. But oh well i will never experience something as great as this ever again and i am destined to be lonely, miserable, and celibate (sp?) for the rest of my life... its the beginning of the end unless she truly follows her heart.

"One More For Love"

Baby there's something on my mind tonight
There's a reason to believe we almost got it right
There's a fire burning in the firelight
As we roll on tonight

There's paper promises and alibis
There is certainly uncertainty in all our eyes
But as long as you are here I'll be all right
As we roll on tonight

So you go out...I'll go on
If there's a doubt...we'll be strong
As we go on singing
One more for love my love
One more for love...

There's always blood to fill the heart betrayed
There are children being born to every house that's raised
And we're getting closer to where we got it made
As we roll on tonight

So you go out...I'll go on
If there's a doubt...we'll be strong
As we go on singing
One more for love my love
One more for love...

I'm never going to wait for anything
Never going to break for anything
Cause I am one more for love my love
One more for love
One more for love my love

Baby there's something on my mind tonight
There's a reason to believe that we got it right
And all and all you're all that's on my mind tonight As we roll on...

One more for love my love
One more for love
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Time:06:15 pm
she broke up with me again for the same reason as last summer... i am more hurt than i have ever been in my entire life... i dont know what to do anymore...
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Time:07:42 am
so i figured i would write in here when i had a few minutes to spare. All is going well in the mitch household. I like my job. We get to go out on a boat in the bay and take samples of the sediment in the bay. then we spend the day in the lab processing the samples we get in the field. Overall its a decent ass job.

i was having some issues earlier last week but i am over them now.

And saving the best for last... I am so in lvoe with my gf jill right now. I cannot begin to tell you how i feel about her. She is cute, and gorgeous. She is funny and cheerful. my favorite part of the day is when i get to talk to her. I cannot believe it! I am so in love and i have a feeling it wont change ever.

well time to work ttyl...
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Time:10:46 am
so this is an entry just to update on my love life...
I am going out with jill again... i am going to make it work this time...
and she wanted me to update this thing so she could "defend the herd of babes after my man" that is a direct quote... no lie...
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Subject:the usual update
Time:12:36 am
well good golly miss molly this is the first timew i have updated in quite awhile... well lets see where to start...

YAY for the school year being done... i love it... this past semester was so damn stressful... but i am happy with the grades i got... i hated finals... they stress me out soo much but oh wells at least i made it thorugh them... i ended up getting three b's a bc and a c so i am glad that i got what i did... i thought i would get worse...

since break started i havent worked all that much... i had a few days of catering and two days of a side job that put 300 dollars cash into my pocket! but oh wells... it turns out that i am not going to work for the indiana dunes environmental learning center this summer (thank god) i didnt wanna truck my ass down to indiana for 6 weeks and make shit for money... instead i am doing research for a professor... we are doing research on bugs that live in the bay and seeing the health and the population to see how the zebra mussels are effecting the health of the ecosystem in the bay... yeah i think it will be fun... but i am making 8 bucks an hour for 40 hours a week... aka mitch will be rolling in the dough...

so what else... have i mentioned i have been sitting on my ass pretty much for the entire break so far? oh yeha... its greater than great... i am soo relieved to actually enjoy summer beak for a bit... i love it... i have been lazing around and watching dvds all day... my friend ernie showed me a show called stargate sg1 so i have been borrowing his dvd seasons and i actually enjoy the show a bit... but i am far from being a nerd about it...

whatelse... oh yeah i am really lonely again... but then again whats new... i just am getting bored with myself... lol... i know that sounds weird but i am ready to share my life with someone and i just seem to hit and miss all the time... granted i have thrown away some rather good relationships but it just couldnt work at those respective times for various reasons... what is it about me that is unaproachable? i dont get it...

oh well time to go to bed... ttyl...
mitch\

ps after waiting 2 years i am finally going to see wicked in a week!
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Time:03:35 am


Your Personality Is


Idealist (NF)




You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.

You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.



You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.

Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.



You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.

Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.



In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.



At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.



With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.



As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.



On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.






You Are a Visionary Soul



You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.

Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.

You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.

Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.



You have great vision and can be very insightful.

In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.

Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.

You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.



Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul






Your Birth Month is April



You are trustworthy and highly ethical in all facets of life.

Helpful and steady, you are able to solve any problem.



Your soul reflects: Bliss, playfulness, and curiosity



Your gemstone: Diamond



Your flower: Sweet Pea



Your colors: Yellow and red





People Envy Your Compassion



You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.

People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.





Your Birthdate: April 26



You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena.

Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top.

You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate.

Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success.



Your strength: Your attention to detail



Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes



Your power color: Turquoise



Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up



Your power month: August

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[icon] Welcome to my reality...
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